Is fairly sketchy but was so intense. And I can’t remember all the people.
I was lost in a city, driving round and round, I think trying to remember the way in a city I hadn’t been to in a long time. There was this crazy ring road that kept stopping me from getting off it. There were these two sisters I bumped into, they invited me out for a drink.
I got confused about where they wanted me to go. Then, when I realised where it was, I suddenly freaked out that I was too old for it. But I went anyway, sat down at the bar and drank a bottle of becks though I had asked for a bud. There was nothing else there that I liked, just freakish drinks and alcopops. Sitting next to me was an old coworker I had fancied from about 15 years ago at the bar, she was called Amy. We were both wearing red tops. She said she was there for the party too and I got confused – what party?
The sisters had invited everyone I had ever known into the bar, they filled one side of it, stretching off into the distance. I moved to join the crowd. They let Amy in. But then another more recent coworker stopped me and said I wasn’t allowed to join the party because I wasn’t wearing black and white and it was a black and white party. I shrugged at him and returned to the bar.
I ordered another drink, the bar tender placed it on the side and looked pissed off when I offered my card. I kept presenting the contactless card to the device and it flashed a warning saying PAE. He fixed the machine with a reboot and I paid for the drink. But the bottle was gone.
I looked around. A guy behind me placed an empty bottle on the bar by the side of me. He looked smug and his two friends were laughing. I challenged him and he just nodded when I asked if he had drunk my drink. A vision went through my head to beat him until he bled, but I dismissed it. I would be arrested if I fought in a bar. So I let him go and had another beer without incident.
The party was dull and I wasn’t allowed in anyway, I couldn’t see the people who had invited me. So I left. Outside, I saw the guy that stole the beer and ran after him. I sent in a flurry of blows he went down then disappeared, along with his two friends.
Then all of my previous acquaintances swarmed out of the bar waving their arms at me, circular, thrusting waves that weren’t meant to hurt me but still held an undertone of violence. I backed away. Then I ran. They were surrounding me.
I found a tree and climbed up it. Higher and higher. They jeered me from the ground as I clung on. The floor dropped away and the people disappeared too. I was alone at the top of the tree. Clinging onto narrow branches. There was no way to get down.
I heard a siren and a black fire engine appeared below me, sending the ladder up. I looked down. I could see the ground, but it was a mile away, a vast distance. No ladder could reach me.
All I could think was “they think you’re going to kill yourself”. And I felt so ashamed. I felt a blanket wrap around me, a voiceless man took hold of me and held me close. I felt safe for a moment. Then I wept, a deep a sob that didn’t seem like it would ever end.
I reached the ground and I woke up.