Work, sleep, work, sleep, work sleep.
I’m a machine and, like Jack, its making me a dull boy. I need a hobby.
I’ve got a book on the back burner, just one more chapter then the laborious process of editing it and then shelving it because I don’t think its good enough. Well bugger that.
Do I need a hobby or a habit? I think a habit is more apt, I need something I have to do to break this damned monotony.
Trying to be positive. Its difficult because I don’t have anyone to talk to. I know that life can be beautiful, that there is joy and excitement out there. For the first time in my life I even feel like I deserve some of that. The self hatred has calmed, I’m not a bad person.
So I’ll write this and see how it goes. I’ll keep speaking to the internet like its my friend, then maybe someone will listen and talk back. Hopefully not the internet itself, that might be scary.